who am i as a designer

My designs enable me to challenge sartorial style of clothing.  As fashion students we are told think of the future. In my mind future conjures space age clothing or minimalist style of clothing which I am bored of! Please don't misunderstand me I do appreciate and like the style but its not me.
I feel at ease when I don't need to tame fabric into a traditional tailored shape. It conjures a mental image of a circus ring master cracking his whip at fabric and it magically being turned into tailored shirt. In the past when cutting or ripping fabric I would imagine it screaming (I never said I was normal so lower you expectations!) 
Whereas drape feels natural and organic and free flowing like watching water flow down stream.
When I have created a pattern from a drape i get a sense of excitement because I alone made this and it wasn't taken from a block and manipulated. There is an element of exclusivity. Like I found a treasure map that only i can see the trail. I find with drape you have to work with the fabric in order to create a garment.  
There is a challenge in making fabrics that don't necessarily go together to work in harmony.
you might think of me as a sad individual but i thrive on problem solving in design.

I will feel a treble loss once the collection is made. Its the journey. One of the most exciting things in life is a plain piece of paper and a utensil to create with. only the designer/artist (I don't consider myself an artist but I am assuming they must feel the same) goes on the journey. One little thing can spin you into another direction and to me that is exciting. The audience only see a glimpse of what goes into a collection. It can be argued that an archive such as a blog or a diary can inform the audience of the experience. But they don't undergo its ups and down and turn around. That's why being an artist or a designer is the best job in the world and what i aspire to.

So this particular collection who's my woman?
A woman who's confident,elegant, experimental in her style and radiates charisma.

I'm open to collaborations in any medium.

Any thoughts?